Do you set incredibly high standards for yourself, believing that’s the key to your success? While this drive can definitely lead to achievements, it also has downsides. The internal pressure of being a self-demanding perfectionist, combined with outside pressures, can eventually burn you out.
Research shows that self-oriented, socially prescribed, and other-oriented perfectionism have all gone up in the last 27 years. But do you know according to Harvard Business Review being excessively hard on oneself to be a perfect one undermines motivation? It also decreases focus, and productivity, creating a cycle that is difficult to break.
Self-compassion might seem like a luxury, especially if you’re a perfectionist always striving for the best. But this could actually be your secret weapon that you can use as your power. Here you’ll find the techniques tailored for you to thrive under pressure while keeping your mental health and leadership strong.
The Hidden Cost of Perfection
Many successful people, especially leaders, hold themselves to sky-high standards. They strive for excellence in everything they do. While this ambition is admirable, it can also become a dangerous trap.
When you mix these unrealistic expectations with the daily stress of a demanding job, burnout often follows. You feel drained, cynical about your work, and doubt your own abilities.
But burnout isn’t the only problem. The constant pressure to be perfect can also kill your motivation. If you’re always reaching for impossible goals, you’re bound to fail sometimes. This can create a vicious cycle of self-doubt and `, leaving you feeling unmotivated and discouraged.
It’s hard to concentrate, make decisions, or get anything done efficiently. This is a big deal because, as a leader, your performance affects your entire team.
But you can break this cycle by being kind to yourself, accepting your flaws, and treating yourself with understanding. Self-compassion isn’t just about feeling good – it’s about unlocking your full potential as a leader. Continue reading to learn different self-compassion practices that will help you out.
Self-Compassion Strategies for Thriving Under Pressure
Here are five simple ways to be kind to yourself when things get tough.
Be Kind to Yourself
Treat yourself like you would a friend. If you mess up, don’t be too hard on yourself. Instead of getting upset, try saying something like, “Everyone makes mistakes. I’m still learning.” This helps you stop being so critical of yourself and start being nicer to yourself.
How to Be Kind to Yourself?
- Listen to your thoughts. Pay attention to how you talk to yourself, especially when you make mistakes.
- Change negative thoughts. When you catch yourself being self-critical, think about what you’d say to a friend in the same situation. Replace negative thoughts with positive and supportive ones.
- Use encouraging words. Remind yourself of positive affirmations like “I am doing my best,” or “It’s okay to make mistakes.”
- Forgive yourself. Everyone makes mistakes. Don’t dwell on past errors; remind yourself that you are learning and growing.
By practicing self-kindness regularly, you can build a stronger, healthier relationship with yourself, which can lead to greater happiness and resilience in the face of life’s challenges.
Start Your Day with Kindness
Begin your day with a short, calming routine. This could be a few minutes of easy stretches while repeating positive phrases like, “I am enough,” “I deserve kindness,” and “Today, I will be gentle with myself.” This helps you start your day feeling calm and positive.
Simple Steps to Try
- Make time. Set aside a few minutes each morning for your routine. Even 5 minutes can make a big difference.
- Find a calm space. Choose a quiet spot where you won’t be interrupted.
- Stretch gently. Do some easy stretches while focusing on your breathing and how your body feels.
- Repeat positive phrases. As you stretch, say kind things to yourself. Remember that you are worthy of love and kindness.
- Set good intentions. Take a moment to think about how you want to approach the day. Choose to be kind to yourself and others.
By starting your day with this kind of routine, you’ll feel more relaxed, positive, and ready to face whatever the day brings. Remember, taking care of yourself is important, and starting each day with kindness is a great way to do that.
Start a Kindness Journal – Your Safe Space
Keep a journal where you write about times you felt like you messed up or faced difficulties. Look back on these moments with kindness and understanding. This helps you understand your feelings better and become more compassionate towards yourself.
How to Start?
- Choose a journal you like. It could be a notebook, an online journal, or an app on your phone.
- Make time to write regularly. It could be daily, weekly, or whenever you need it. The important thing is to make it a habit.
- Write about your challenges. When you face a setback or feel like you didn’t do well, write it down. Describe what happened, how you felt, and what you were thinking.
- Be kind to yourself. After writing about the challenge, look back on it with compassion. Ask yourself what you would say to a friend in the same situation. Accept your feelings without judgment and offer yourself words of kindness and support.
- Change negative thoughts into positive ones. If you wrote something like, “I’m a failure,” try changing it to, “I didn’t succeed this time, but I’m learning and getting stronger.”
By keeping a journal and practicing self-compassion, you’ll create a safe space for yourself to process emotions and build a kinder, more supportive relationship with yourself. This can lead to greater resilience and happiness in the face of life’s challenges.
Take Short Kindness Breaks
Schedule short breaks throughout your day to practice self-compassion. During these breaks, acknowledge any stress or discomfort you’re feeling, remind yourself that everyone goes through difficult times, and offer yourself kind words of support. This helps you manage stress and feel better emotionally.
How to Take a Kindness Break?
- Schedule breaks. Plan short breaks throughout your day, about every 60-90 minutes.
- Find a calm space. Choose a quiet spot where you can relax without distractions.
- Breathe deeply. Take a few deep breaths to help you calm down and center yourself.
- Acknowledge your feelings. Pay attention to any stress or discomfort you’re feeling. Don’t judge yourself; just notice what’s going on inside.
- Remind yourself that you’re not alone. Everyone experiences tough times.
- Offer yourself kind words. Say positive things to yourself like, “I’m doing the best I can,” or “I deserve to take a break.”
- Relax and recharge. Enjoy your break and allow yourself to rest and recharge.
By taking short kindness breaks throughout your day, you can better manage stress, maintain emotional balance, and ultimately be more productive and happy. Remember, being kind to yourself is just as important as being kind to others.
Write a Letter to Yourself
Write a letter to yourself as if you were writing to a close friend facing the same problems you are. Share words of encouragement, understanding, and compassion. This simple act can change how you see your situation and make you feel more compassionate towards yourself.
How to Write a Self-Compassionate Letter?
- Find a quiet place. Choose a peaceful spot where you won’t be interrupted.
- Identify your challenges. What are you struggling with? Be honest and specific about the difficulties you’re facing.
- Write as if to a friend. Imagine you’re writing to someone you care deeply about who is going through the same thing. Use kind and understanding words.
- Offer encouragement and support. Let yourself know it’s okay to feel the way you do. Remind yourself of your strengths and past successes. For example, you could write, “I know you’re feeling overwhelmed, but remember, you’ve handled tough situations before. You’re strong and capable.”
- End on a positive note. Finish your letter with a message of hope and encouragement. Remind yourself that you are worthy of love and kindness, especially from yourself.
By writing yourself a letter full of compassion and encouragement, you’ll create a powerful tool for self-care and emotional healing. Try this exercise regularly and see how it can improve your relationship with yourself and help you navigate life’s challenges with greater ease.
Final Thoughts
The relentless pursuit of perfection and the pressure to succeed can take a significant toll on executives. However, by embracing self-compassion, you can cultivate a healthier relationship with yourself, leading to increased resilience, improved mental well-being, and ultimately, greater success.
The journey towards self-compassion may not always be easy, but it is undoubtedly worthwhile. By incorporating the practices outlined in this article, you can transform your approach to leadership and life in general. Remember, self-compassion is not a sign of weakness but rather a powerful tool for personal and professional growth.
So, start small, be patient with yourself, and embrace the transformative power of self-compassion. You may be surprised at how much it can positively impact your life, both inside and outside the boardroom. After all, a compassionate leader is not only more effective but also happier and more fulfilled.
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