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Marek Struszczyk

Co-Founder ManagerUp

Last modified: May 24th, 2024


Ah, the age-old adage: “How to love yourself.” It’s a phrase we’ve all come across in some form or another. And if you’re a business professional, you might just roll your eyes and say, “Not another soft skill talk!” But here’s the twist – it’s not just about soft skills. It’s about business resilience, leadership, and overcoming challenges in today’s ever-changing business landscape.

Common Misconceptions about Self-Love among Business Professionals

Let’s address the elephant in the room first. For many business professionals, there’s a misconception that self-love equates to being narcissistic or indulging oneself excessively. They might see it as the opposite of humility, or even as a sign of weakness. After all, isn’t business about being tough, making hard decisions, and sometimes sacrificing oneself for the greater good?

Here’s the catch. Self-love is none of that. It’s neither self-indulgence nor narcissism. In fact, real self-love means understanding and acknowledging your strengths and weaknesses, setting healthy boundaries, and nurturing personal growth. It’s the very foundation of genuine leadership.

Importance of Self-Love in Overcoming Business Challenges

The business can be volatile, uncertain, complex, and ambiguous. If you’ve heard of the VUCA world, you know what I’m talking about. It throws curveballs, and sometimes, those curveballs hit hard.

When faced with such challenges, a leader grounded in self-love is more resilient. They can bounce back from failures because they understand their self-worth isn’t tied to external validations or successes. They’re more creative, as they’re in touch with themselves, understanding their feelings and motivations better. This emotional intelligence, grounded in self-love, is a significant asset in the business world.

How Self-Love Transforms Both Professional and Personal Life

Professional life and personal life aren’t water-tight compartments. They spill over into each other. A leader who practices self-love can navigate this spill-over effectively. They become better listeners, communicate more empathetically, and handle conflicts with a balance of assertiveness and understanding. In personal relationships, this translates to more depth, trust, and mutual respect.

Moreover, embracing self-love means setting boundaries. This not only aids in achieving a healthier work-life balance but also prevents burnout. It makes you more present and engaged, both at work and at home.

Stories from the Hall of Fame: How to Love Yourself in Leadership

Let’s not just take my word for it. Here are some real-life stories that testify to the power of mindfulness and self-love in leadership:

  1. Arianna Huffington: After a burnout-induced collapse, the co-founder of The Huffington Post and founder of Thrive Global, made a drastic lifestyle change. She began practicing yoga, meditation, and maintaining a gratitude journal. Through this, she discovered a renewed sense of purpose, leading more effectively and championing the cause of self-care in the business world.
  2. Marc Benioff: Salesforce’s CEO has been an advocate of mindfulness for over a decade. He integrated it into Salesforce’s culture, creating mindfulness zones and hosting mindfulness events. This approach didn’t just benefit him personally but transformed the work culture, leading to a more engaged and holistic work environment.
  3. Padmasree Warrior: The ex-CEO of NIO U.S. and former CTO of Cisco embeds mindfulness in her daily routine. Starting her day with reading, exercise, and meditation, she emphasizes that self-care is essential for leadership, not a luxury.

The Consequences of Lack of Self-Love in Professional Context

It’s one thing to look at the benefits of self-love, but what happens when self-love is absent in your professional journey?

To start, let’s try this exercise. Imagine running on empty, trapped in a state of chronic exhaustion. This is burnout, a direct consequence of overworking yourself to prove your worth, without understanding how to truly love and value yourself. This cycle of exhaustion not only wears you down but also dims your productivity and heightens self-criticism.

Ever put in those long hours, only to feel like you’re achieving little? When self-love is lacking, it manifests as self-doubt. Every decision becomes a mountain of second-guessing and overthinking, stifling efficiency.

Your perception of yourself doesn’t stay self-contained; it radiates outward, influencing your interactions. Lacking self-love can lead to critical and dismissive behaviors, disrupting team dynamics and causing conflict. This absence also increases your susceptibility to chronic stress, driven by perfectionism and a desire to please. Moreover, without self-appreciation, motivation wanes, and decision-making becomes hindered, either by excessive caution or impulsivity.

In essence, understanding “how to love yourself” isn’t a mere feel-good mantra. It’s a bedrock for professional triumph and holistic well-being. With this foundation set, let’s now delve deeper into the nuances of genuine self-love and how it stands apart from self-indulgence and narcissism.

The Connection Between Mindfulness and Self-Love

Before we dive into some practical exercises, it’s necessary to understand how mindfulness and self-love are interconnected.

Mindfulness is the practice of paying attention to the present moment without judgment. It involves observing your thoughts, feelings, and sensations without getting caught up in them. This practice helps you develop self-awareness, which is the foundation of self-love. When you become more aware of your thoughts and feelings, you can start to question and change negative beliefs about yourself.

Self-love, on the other hand, involves treating yourself with kindness, compassion, and acceptance. It’s about acknowledging your worth and taking care of your physical and mental well-being. Mindfulness practices can help you cultivate self-love by:

  1. Increasing Self-Awareness: Mindfulness helps you become more aware of your thoughts, feelings, and bodily sensations. This awareness is the first step towards acknowledging and accepting yourself as you are.
  2. Reducing Self-Criticism: Mindfulness involves observing your thoughts and feelings without judgment. With practice, you can learn to treat yourself with the same kindness and compassion that you offer to others.
  3. Fostering Self-Compassion: Mindfulness practices encourage a kind and compassionate attitude towards yourself. This can help you to be more forgiving and understanding of your own mistakes and shortcomings.
  4. Improving Mental Well-being: Regular mindfulness practice has been shown to reduce stress, anxiety, and depression, all of which are obstacles to self-love.
  5. Enhancing Self-Regulation: Mindfulness helps you become more aware of your impulses and reactions, which can help you make more conscious choices and respond to challenges in a more balanced and controlled manner.

So, as you can see, mindfulness and self-love are closely related. Mindfulness practices can help you develop the self-awareness, self-compassion, and mental well-being that are essential for true self-love. Ready to put this into practice? Let’s dive into some mindfulness exercises in the next chapter.

Mindfulness Practices for Cultivating Self-Love

Now that we’ve covered off on the theory behind self-love, let’s explore some key mindfulness techniques that will guide you in mastering “how to love yourself” and elevate your leadership prowess.

  • Breathing Exercises: Start with the basics. Focusing on your breath can help calm your mind, reduce stress, and increase self-awareness. Try taking slow, deep breaths, inhaling for a count of four, holding for a count of four, and exhaling for a count of four. Practice this daily to enhance your self-love by being present and attuned to your needs.
  • Gratitude Journal: Take a few minutes each day to write down things you are grateful for, including positive qualities and accomplishments. This practice helps shift your focus from what you perceive as lacking or wrong to acknowledging and appreciating the good in your life and in yourself.
  • Self-Compassion Meditation: Practice speaking to yourself with kindness and compassion. Sit comfortably, close your eyes, and imagine a situation that causes you stress or discomfort. Offer yourself kind words and affirmations, just as you would to a friend. This practice helps you cultivate self-compassion, an essential component of self-love.
  • Body Scan Meditation: Pay attention to different parts of your body, from your toes to your head, noticing any sensations, tensions, or discomfort. This practice helps you become more aware of physical sensations and can lead to a deeper sense of self-care and self-love.
  • Mindful Walking: Take a walk outside and focus on the sensations of your feet touching the ground, the rhythm of your breath, and the sights and sounds around you. This practice helps you stay present and grounded, fostering a sense of connection with yourself and the world around you.
  • Positive Affirmations: Create a list of positive affirmations that resonate with you. Repeat them daily to reinforce positive beliefs and boost your self-esteem. Examples include “I am enough,” “I am resilient,” and “I am deserving of success and happiness.”
  • Setting Healthy Boundaries: Practice saying no when necessary and express your needs and desires assertively. This practice reinforces your self-worth and helps you cultivate healthier relationships with others.
  • Self-Reflection: Take time regularly to reflect on your actions, decisions, and feelings. Acknowledge your achievements and mistakes without judgment and consider how you can grow and improve. This practice helps you develop self-awareness and a growth mindset, key components of self-love.
  • Mindful Listening: Practice actively listening to others without interrupting or planning your response while they are speaking. This practice fosters empathy and strengthens your relationships with others, contributing to a sense of self-worth and connection.

Remember, the key to these practices is consistency. Incorporate them into your daily routine, and over time, you will notice a positive shift in your self-perception, resilience, and leadership skills.

How to Love Yourself With Practical Mindfulness Exercises

Additionally, here are some mindfulness exercises that are quick-wins and easy to adopt.

Breathing Exercises:

  • Instructions: Sit or lie down comfortably. Close your eyes and start to focus on your breath. Inhale deeply through your nose for a count of four, hold your breath for a count of four, and then exhale slowly through your mouth for a count of four. Repeat this cycle for 5-10 minutes.
  • Impact: This practice enhances your self-love by being present and attuned to your needs, reducing stress, and increasing self-awareness.

Mindful Walking:

  • Instructions: Find a quiet space where you can walk without distractions. Stand still for a moment and take a few deep breaths. Start walking at a slower pace than usual, focusing on the sensation of your feet lifting off, moving through the air, and making contact with the ground. Notice the rhythm of your breath and the sights and sounds around you. Practice for 10-15 minutes.
  • Impact: This practice helps you stay present and grounded, fostering a sense of connection with yourself and the world around you.

Mindful Listening:

  • Instructions: Find a partner for this exercise. Sit facing each other and decide who will speak first. The speaker will share something on their mind while the listener pays full attention without interrupting or planning a response. After a few minutes, switch roles.
  • Impact: This practice fosters empathy and strengthens your relationships with others, contributing to a sense of self-worth and connection.

Remember, the key to these practices is consistency. Incorporate them into your daily routine, and over time, you will notice a positive shift in your self-perception, resilience, and leadership skills.

Benefits Beyond the Boardroom

The power of self-love and mindfulness reverberates far beyond the confines of the boardroom. When you embrace self-love and weave mindfulness into your everyday actions, you trigger a cascade of positive shifts in all facets of your life.

By nurturing kindness and compassion towards yourself, you’ll naturally begin to treat those around you with the same kindness. This newfound demeanor makes you a more attuned listener, fosters empathy, and curtails impulsive reactions, fortifying and enriching your personal connections.

Additionally, true self-love guides you to establish firm boundaries and prioritize self-care. The result? A harmonious work-life equilibrium that shields against burnout, empowering you to immerse fully, both professionally and personally.

Mindfulness practices have been proven to reduce stress, anxiety, and depression, and improve mental well-being. A healthy mind also boosts physical health and overall outlook on life.

In essence, self-preservation isn’t an act of self-indulgence. By mastering “how to love yourself” and incorporating daily mindfulness exercises, you’re paving the way to a life that’s more joyous, wholesome, and harmonized.

How to Love Yourself: Taking the Leap of Self-Love in Business

Incorporating self-love and mindfulness isn’t about sitting cross-legged and humming mantras before a board meeting. It’s about tuning into oneself amidst the chaos, making decisions with clarity, and leading teams with empathy.

So, the next time someone mentions “how to love yourself”, remember it’s not a frivolous buzzword. It’s a game-changer in the business world.

To all the business professionals out there, here’s my advice: Dive deep into understanding self-love. Your professional trajectory, your teams, and most importantly, you, will thank you for it.

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